Flight

A golden city of deceit awaits all those with eyes of glass.
A withered tree lingers for the bereft souls walking in circles.

A stream laced in the dirt of barren lands, the bird watches over....
the lost songs of beauty, the monotone of ignorance.

The flight is restrained, its destination farther with each flap.
It waits for a rainbow over the poignant lake,
and then waits some more....

Of Stealth and Light

Shot down she laid still, her eyes about to shut,

Hope slowly escaping her existence , just  like the blood,

She felt the wounds deep but no one could see,

Asking for help didn’t make anyone’s heart bleed.

She thought finally darkness caught up to her,

All her dreams slowly began to shatter.

She shut her eyes in pain and prayer,

Knowing deep down it was her heart the betrayer.

Heavy footsteps of another assassin lurked.

She knew them too well  and she wont get lured.

Her wounds ached still but her heart found a new beat,

Almost as if the soul found a piece of itself in the desert heat.

Her mind and heart took control and she breathed another gush of hot air.

Her love came to her as a man disguised, touching her heart's deepest layers.

Chances she took like the wave with the beach.

Losing herself and receding each time, unsure of her return.

With him now the sun is out and slowly she gets to her feet.

She walks up to him and the light finds her where for the last time they stealthily meet.

QUESTIONS AND CONSOLATIONS

I found myself reading ‘The Difficulty of Being Good’ (by Gurcharan Das) a few days after I received it as a gift and had many attached expectations since it is based on the modern day interpretation of Mahabharata, which in my opinion, is an omniscient saga and has elements that not only intrigue a reader but also simultaneously impart complex noesis.

Reading it was tedious; almost as if it’s a daily newspaper article that won’t end! Besides the in-between excerpts and incidents it seemed to me an extremely diluted and superficial take on the epic. I didn’t come across it as a book that would shake you up, make you giggle or weep or even impact in any way. I can say I was wrong.

Three more days into leading a ‘normal’ (read mundane) life with the book read lingering, things started to change. Little questions that remained unanswered every evening of the monsoon laden summer days started to surface with unsatisfying but relieving answers, only to be challenged again and tossed into limbo. The dilemma and self contradictory sermons juxtaposed with the main story-line culminated into epiphanies and baby-step progress in finding inner peace.

Prima facie, we always like it when we find someone who has been there where we are today, and to have characters that had descended from the Gods, to be perplexed, undergo injustice and follow it with undesirable retribution; one certainly has a chance to find a road to self-forgiveness. But without risking my tone to be pessimistic, I see that there is more to this feeling than plain content.

To know that life is a function of previous and this life’s Karma and that it never will come as an easy choice to do ‘the right thing’, instills the seeds of stoicism we might not be ready to embrace. Seeing the world now in several shades that Mahabharata and this book depict, deep down, one would know that ends and means are fully intertwined to be understood separately. It populates the array of open-ended questions,confusions; further intensifying the ride of disillusionment, bringing elation and infliction in turns.

There is one statement in the Book that can take anyone by storm.. In the end, when everyone passes over to the other world, its only Yudhisthir and Duryodhan that land in heaven!! This one revelation is beyond my complete understanding. If we were to simply ‘do’ what we were destined to, to culminate our souls' journey successfully, then how can we ever justify our sense of this (mere) illusion of control? How,then, the very fact that we talk about life,death,revenge and fulfillment make any realistic sense? Somehow this might help us make peace with our agonizing circumstances but can it bring even a speck of a smile on a face that was marred lifelong with the tumultuous bitterness of poverty,misfortune and haplessness? A myriad of questions and a bagful of consolations, hasn’t this always been what we call “life”? 

Silence.

Silence, that little girl down the street,

Hidden somewhere in the shades of green.

Charred with the heat of a time too seething,

Would she run to her last happy dream.

Silence meets the mist of the dawn

like an affection of a time bygone.

Mist engulfs the girl hence

Would she remember or is it too dense.

All the truth of the world has dawned..

All the fences and lines drawn.

Morning laden with the dust of yesterday,

the girl rubs her eyes searching for a real day.

Little ships of light have passed but Oh Silence,

it is you as the sea,

with a heart ripe with seeds of all plights.

You are companion to the soul of souls

which resides some place really old

Silence, that little girl down the street...

Dont find me, dont find me

until we next meet.

Who Needs a Time Machine!

As an avid Discovery channel fan I was very impressed by their documentary on Time Machines and how many renowned scientists had dedicated all their time and energy into finding a way to travel back into the sands of time. I was enthralled at the very idea of it and how something as abstract as that could have a real world manifestation ever. I was 15. It took just a few more years to understand that abstraction lies at the very root of manifestation; like many things in nature; from where we derive inspiration more often than seldom.

However exciting as it might be, I think we never really would invent a time machine, we might just extend it, for the real time-machine is already there with us.. our brains, memories, conscious learning..arent they just the several elements of a process which we r trying so hard to achieve in the physical world.

This intrinsic time machine is capable of so much more than its outline image still in gestation. Given a certain degree of activity or the absence of it, this mind machine can take you back as long as it’s relevant to your cause. It can show you insights that you had missed while u were in it and bring you back to this date with either a lesson to learn or a wish fulfilled.

We have an innate sense of being the special child of God and often term our life experiences special too. But on taking a bird’s eye view it is known that be it the good and exuberant times to harrowing hardships we all have a story which follows a theme echoing the spirit of the universe and existence. For us to want to go back in time and watch and learn from the past of others, the opportunity has existed forever. An extrapolation free of any exaggeration of our life experiences or that of the people around us at present will give us all the supplements to satiate the inquisitiveness and wisdom which at some point has defined us of who we are.

Like several fallouts discussed for a real world time machine, it isn’t difficult to see some in the one that we possess. Its vicious on certain occasions and has a glitch for people without a strong heart. It doesn’t allow a journey back safe for a person who has left a part of himself behind in his past. It will function as erratically as your emotions since its fuel comes from the energy interference of the conscious and the subconscious mind, which whether we accept or not are driven by emotions more so than pure Boolean logic.

All this cannot restrain us from exploring it and using it in sync with the songs of the universe., or from humongous wisdom that God sows as bamboo seeds in the path of our lives. The journey within will take us where we will defeat our monsters and find our very own Frabjous day.

Did u breathe today?

Bangalore weather is very temperamental. From a rather sunny day you would find yourself standing in the middle of a downpour or a drizzle descending straight from the skies. Sitting in our gray and cream colored cubicles we hardly get any time or give any of our attention to something so commonplace and redundant. Morning 8 and evening 6 is the only time we would care to reach out and stare at the blue infinity like we use to as a kid; although then it was much more selfless.

The omnipresent tide of drifting away from elements in our lives that bring us relief, joy or calmness sweeps away not only the innocence of our existence but also pushes us into a corner of vulnerability when realization or plain boredom dawns upon us. Our days full of pretense, our nights filled with indifference and introspection, we sail with the wild winds unknowing of our destination or purpose. Yes we call it growing up and embracing the harsh realities our circumstances inflict us with, but aren’t we leaving behind our real happiness, giving up on the pursuit all together?

Look around and we’ll find all that we need to heal, to be happy or even learn important lessons for our lives. The girl with a chipped tooth carrying her sibling to the common water tap; the autistic son of a family of 5 living out of a single room house filled with the fragrance of morning prayers; that vegetable seller tugging his meager stock on a barrow in front of a large retail store; its weird but we would feel better at least , by an ounce. We’ll know our gods contrast pleasant breezes with heavy turbulences in our lives. All we can do is stop just for a second and breathe, breathe deep and feel gratitude.

-Kuhu

In Pain and Afloat

Pain is a popular feeling, because no matter how deprived we might be in certain aspects we are never deprived of this one elemental force. It has manifestations that have astounded mankind for centuries. May it be in the form of a musical symphony, a stroke of an amateur brush or the crudeness of physical hurt, we all have learnt this language.

You and I take it in different ways. Sometimes with a pinch of salt, sometimes as a hard lesson and sometimes a reason to challenge ourselves, our faith. We also reflect it without, in many ways…tears, anguish, anger, vengeance, helpless acceptance and many more…

The essence of pain lies in developing comfort with it. I don’t intend to ask people to be “in pain” but rather grow alongside with a sense of comfort and forgiveness. Our bodies do the same with physical pain, but our brains, our hearts are naïve to the idea ..They need our help through a higher conscious evolution.

I somehow believe that experiencing pain makes you capable of giving. And that I have found as rarest of the inculcated human attributes.

We might not be the ones forgetting or forgiving it to have caused such a transformation but we know somewhere down the line this ugly friend will keep us safe and warm when another strong wave strikes the shore of our lives….

-Kuhu